Twinning

What's it like being a twin?
I don't know.
What's it like not being a twin?
It sounds so lonely.
Oh, I always wanted a twin sister.
No you didn't.
You only wanted not to feel so alone.
Feeling alone as a twin is like cheating on your mate,
except it's cheating with your soul
instead of someone else.
Am I entitled to the same existential angst
as singletons,
who enter and leave the
mortal plane alone?
Or do I only gradually earn the right to despair
of finding meaning, a reason
for living, a purpose beyond
completing the matched set?
I stuff the yielded from separating
and individuating into my wallet, and keep suicide
in my back pocket.
Such a rich reward from the developmental lode.
I mined it for years,
lining other pockets with lucre
filthy from wrung hands, and snot-filled with tears.
Plumbing the depths of hopelessness and
I learned the way of the un-twinned
and found it wanting.
Searching for an anchor, I re-found
my solid core.
No longer the dead weight
I tried to shunt aside,
twinship emerged from the shadows
into which it had retreated as solace, comfort, light.